Can a Guy and a Girl Just Be Friends
It's the historic period-former question that comes up in every rom-com where the guy and daughter best friends somewhen fall in love: Tin men actually be simply friends with women? What happens when something platonic crosses the line?
Information technology's not simply movies, either. IRL the challenges of navigating your own heterosexual relationships might lead y'all to believe that men and women tin't exist friends. Enquiry suggests that when men and women are friends, their relationships face unique challenges that aren't as common in same-sex friends, including potential sexual attraction and the possibility of interfering with outside romantic relationships. That said, with the proper advice and boundaries, it certainly seems possible that a woman and man can exist friends. (Merely wait at people who are bisexual, gay, lesbian, or pansexual — they can brand friendships work with people of the gender they're attracted.)
Curious about others' experiences? Here, 13 men and women of all ages and backgrounds share their take on whether a man can have a friendship with a woman that doesn't involve sexual activity.
At least one party is drawn to the other sexually.
"While men and women can exist friends, it is hard for the relationship to be entirely platonic. Our genetics simply bulldoze our attraction to the opposite sex! The likelihood that at least ane political party is drawn to the other sexually is very loftier, regardless of whether or not annihilation ever comes of it. This is the reason jealousy and adultery exists; we are not wired to be a monogamous species."- Dr. Soroya Bacchus, 51, psychiatrist
Y'all can become a lot out of a friendship when you go along it platonic.
"With my line of piece of work, I come into contact with women all the time. Merely for me, it is a thing of knowing when not to cross boundaries. With some people, there will e'er be sexual attraction, only yous don't take to always go at that place with them. You can go a lot out of a friendship when you lot keep it platonic."-William Moore, 26, personal trainer
Expectations don't always friction match up.
"Men and women often think they are naught merely friends when in reality one person's mind or the other is thinking more. They may never share this information with their friend, but there'south always that feeling that one of these days we're going to become a trivial tipsy and make out."-John Powers, 29, stand up up comic and human relationship columnist
I remember sexual tension is e'er there.
"I have many guy friends. They're my friends because they all started out as guys that wanted to engagement me or sleep with me. If y'all have an unattached female and male, I recall sexual tension is always at that place. Typically the reasons they are 'friends' is because ane of them doesn't want more. I mean, if you get along enough to hang out, take dinners, talk on the telephone, that's a big role of a human relationship, correct?"-Angela Lutin, 38, Flywheel instructor and blogger at EssentiallyAngela
Men and women can only exist friends when the woman dictates the friendship.
"Men and women can but be friends when the woman dictates the friendship. She has to exist sure to keep him at bay. Her inability to create proper distance barriers, limit the time they spend together, and restriction of intimacy tin cause the relationship to go too far."-Devin T. Robinson X, 28, author of How Expert is Sex?
I would get worried if your guy was off doing one-on-one stuff with a woman.
"Men and women cannot exist friends with someone they are attracted to, and unfortunately, most men are attracted to almost every woman so the idea that they can be friends without thoughts of sex activity is ridiculous. Being friends in grouping activities is fine. I would go worried if your guy was off doing one-on-ane stuff with a woman. That's called a engagement."-Lindsley Lowell, 42, author of My Knight in Shining Armor Is Coming, He'south Only Stuck in Traffic
If they can go past that sticky stage, and then yes.
"I know firsthand, both through personal feel and through witnessing it, that men and women can exist friends. Merely, at that place are some caveats effectually it. More ofttimes than not, either the man or woman at some signal in time, wanted 'more'-either to have sexual activity, engagement or to have a relationship. If they tin become past that pasty phase — which most exercise not — then yes, a warm friendship can result. Also, friendship comes in many unlike depths so information technology's important to go clear near what you hateful by that word."-Delaine Moore, 41, dating coach and author of The Hush-hush Sex Life of a Single Mom
There's usually an underlying attraction.
"The just way you can accept a guy friend when yous're married is if yous find this human being then unattractive, in that location would exist no way he could ever worm his way into your pants. At that place is but no real male person/female heterosexual friendship that doesn't accept an underlying attraction."-Jennifer Hutt, 42, host of "Just Jenny" on Sirius XM Stars and writer of WHATEVERLAND: Learning to Alive Here
Information technology isn't possible, especially if the woman is single.
"No, it isn't possible, peculiarly if the woman is unmarried. Women always practice the 'match up' first for their criteria and, if not, for 1 of her BFFs. It doesn't matter how long the woman knows the human being; if he is adept looking, smart, mannerly, resourceful, mettlesome, adventurous, and gainfully employed, she. will. always. wonder. what. it. would. be. similar. to. be. married. to. him. Period."-Stefan Pinto, twoscore, model and writer
It's pretty easy to tell if you lot feel something other than friendship.
"I have more than guy friends than female friends and I call back it actually comes down to interests and personality or whether or not you have something to talk about. It'due south pretty easy to tell if y'all experience something other than friendship or vice versa, and in that example, y'all just motion on. When I got married, I had two Men of Honor. Growing upwardly, my all-time friend was a guy. Information technology actually feels more comfortable [to me], and I think that's the key. If information technology'due south as well labored or analyzed, then it'll never work."-Lucy Bohnsack, 29, president of E Camp Home
The only time it works is if both parties are in happy relationships.
"The only time it works is if both parties are in happy relationships, sexually satisfied at home, and in that location are strong professional or interest reasons to be friends."-Pablo and Beverly Solomon, 64 and 57, artist and fashion executive, respectively
We truly relish each other'due south visitor without any weirdness.
"There is a big group of united states of america, both male person and female, who all take boxing together at the Main Street Gym in Midlothian, Texas, a suburb of Dallas. Considering the men have seen how potent and determined the women are and because the women run into and feel how hard the men piece of work aslope us, a truthful appreciation for one another has developed. We hang out together and truly enjoy each other'southward company without any weirdness! It is a friendship that is based on respect."-Alex Allred, 47, college professor and kickboxing instructor
I got used to seeing men as people, not objects of affection.
"As the youngest of three with 2 older brothers, I always had them to look upwards to. I had many guy friends growing up. I got used to seeing men as people, not objects of affection, and it has helped me to garner healthy friendships with men... If you lot exit sex activity OUT OF THE EQUATION, then a guy can really give y'all some insight about men that your girlfriends just tin't."-Julie Webb, 23, public relations coordinator
Source: https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/can-men-really-be-just-friends-women
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